Here's an article I wrote for Refinery29:
http://www.refinery29.com/victorian-living-millennial-women
And here are the sources cited. Bibliographies generally get cut from internet articles but they're important to me:
"A Man In the Kitchen: The Difference Between "A Betty" And The Other Kind." Good Housekeeping, February 16, 1889. p. 178.
Bisland, Elizabeth. "The Art of Travel." The Woman’s Book Volume 1. Charles Scribner’s Sons: New York, 1894.
Hill, Thomas E. Hill’s Manual of Social and Business Forms. Chicago: Hill’s Standard Book Company, 1891.
(This book was re-published many, many times in the Victorian era. I happen to own the 1891 edition; there were earlier editions and later ones, but the text around etiquette remained fundamentally unchanged.)
Hubert, Jr., P.G. "Woman's Exchanges as Training Schools and Markets for Work." The Woman's Book Volume I, Charles Scriber's Sons: New York. 1894. pp. 29-36.
Poole, Hester M. "The Philosophy of Living." Good Housekeeping, July 21, 1888. p. 121.